I've spoken about my cats and their reactions to my food before. But this is too funny not to share.
Most of the time, all three of them will leave me alone while I eat at the kitchen table, or on the couch, or wherever, really. But if I'm eating tuna, all bets are off.
Case in point, a couple of weeks ago, on a sunny Saturday morning (Not important to the story, but I'm setting a scene here, people. Patience...) I prepared a tuna and swiss sandwich for lunch, and sat down on the couch to eat it. (As long as we're setting the scene, I may as well add that my couch is brown, I was sitting on the right end of it, and I was watching Phantom of the Opera. Again. Moving right along...)
So, I sit down to eat my sandwich (lemon pepper tuna, swiss cheese, and lettuce, because those details are all clearly very important to the story), and POOF, Luna appears in my lap, trying mightily to get a bite of tuna out of my sandwich before I notice.
FAIL.
So I plop her back onto the floor, and I start eating my sandwich. And Luna, ever the optimist, and not-to-be-deterred, hops back up into my lap, and proceeds to stick her paws into my mouth. It's as if she was thinking "...well...you won't share what's on your super-flat-probably-totally-useless food dish...but I bet you'd love to share what's already partially chewed inside your mouth!"
Needless to say, I eat my tuna sandwiches in the bedroom now. With the door closed. And Luna singing the song of her people on the other side.
Love & Tuna!
March 24, 2014
March 23, 2014
Caption This: The Kyo-Lion Edition
"The voracious and inexorable Kyo-Lion, sneaks up on his unsuspecting prey. In this case, it's a salmon-flavored cat treat, and while those don't tend to give up much chase, the Kyo-Lion is not deterred. He opens his mouth to roar...but all that comes out is a teeny-tiny kitten mew. But I'm sure that the salmon-flavored cat treat was terrified. All the terrified."
This is part of a new series experiment. Here's how it works...I will post a picture, along with my caption. You leave your caption (or multiple captions!) in the comments. :) Have fun!
Love & Tuna!
Frenemies...
Frenemies -
Noun.
1. An enemy disguised as a friend.
2. Kyo and Artemis
These two furballs were cuddled up in my lap like this earlier this afternoon. Not for very long, mind you...but it did happen. I have evidence!
I should point out that Artemis was here first. Kyo rarely/never will come sleep on my lap of his own volition. What he is doing in this photograph is a show of dominance. He is merely reminding Artemis that he, Kyocera the Great and Powerful, is the Alpha kitty, and master of this domicile.
Anyway, I thought this would be an excellent opportunity to discuss the relationship between Kyo and Artemis.
From Artemis' point of view, Kyo is a big, scary bully who commandeers the food dish and the large hairless cat at every opportunity.
From Kyo's point of view, Artemis is a mildly irritating obstacle that tends to occupy all the best spots in the house...the back of the sofa, the top pedestal on the cat tree, the kitchen window, and above all else - the lap of the large hairless cat.
I imagine their conversations go something like this:
Kyo: "Dude. You're in my spot."
Artemis: "But..."
Kyo: "Dude. Move. Now."
Artemis: "PLEASE DON'T EAT ME."
Kyo: "Okay, fine. I will totally and utterly ignore your white, fluffy, fraidy-cat butt, if you move it OUT OF MY SPOT."
Artemis: "Okay. We cool, bro?"
Kyo: "We cool."
Love & Tuna!
Noun.
1. An enemy disguised as a friend.
2. Kyo and Artemis
These two furballs were cuddled up in my lap like this earlier this afternoon. Not for very long, mind you...but it did happen. I have evidence!
I should point out that Artemis was here first. Kyo rarely/never will come sleep on my lap of his own volition. What he is doing in this photograph is a show of dominance. He is merely reminding Artemis that he, Kyocera the Great and Powerful, is the Alpha kitty, and master of this domicile.
Anyway, I thought this would be an excellent opportunity to discuss the relationship between Kyo and Artemis.
From Artemis' point of view, Kyo is a big, scary bully who commandeers the food dish and the large hairless cat at every opportunity.
From Kyo's point of view, Artemis is a mildly irritating obstacle that tends to occupy all the best spots in the house...the back of the sofa, the top pedestal on the cat tree, the kitchen window, and above all else - the lap of the large hairless cat.
I imagine their conversations go something like this:
Kyo: "Dude. You're in my spot."
Artemis: "But..."
Kyo: "Dude. Move. Now."
Artemis: "PLEASE DON'T EAT ME."
Kyo: "Okay, fine. I will totally and utterly ignore your white, fluffy, fraidy-cat butt, if you move it OUT OF MY SPOT."
Artemis: "Okay. We cool, bro?"
Kyo: "We cool."
Love & Tuna!
March 19, 2014
This is Why People Have Pets
To the people who have doubted me, or looked down on me, or told me I would fail:
These are my cats. This is my pride of tiny lions.
(Side note: I tried to find a picture of all three of them together, and I realized there just aren't any. Why, you ask? Because Luna and Kyo can't occupy the same space for more than 30 seconds without things getting ugly. Sigh. End side note.)
Every day, when I come home from work, they are waiting for me. And they look at me with love and adoration, probably because I am the food provider. But it is still nice.
And people will tell you that cats aren't affectionate. If your definition of affectionate is lap-snuggling, face-licking, twenty-four-hour-a-day-adoration, then no, cats aren't affectionate. (Also, you'd be describing a dog.) But they are affectionate. When they feel like it. And they usually aren't overtly affectionate. But that doesn't mean that they don't care.
Some days, I come hope utterly spent and exhausted, and there is something magical about looking up at the front window and seeing three little lions waiting for me. Somehow, hearing their little padding feet running to the front door to greet me makes up for whatever suckage the day brought.
And I know that this isn't my normal fare on this blog - I just wanted to cast this out there into the void. Thanks, Void. Thanks for listening.
Love & Tuna!
These are my cats. This is my pride of tiny lions.
Every day, when I come home from work, they are waiting for me. And they look at me with love and adoration, probably because I am the food provider. But it is still nice.
And people will tell you that cats aren't affectionate. If your definition of affectionate is lap-snuggling, face-licking, twenty-four-hour-a-day-adoration, then no, cats aren't affectionate. (Also, you'd be describing a dog.) But they are affectionate. When they feel like it. And they usually aren't overtly affectionate. But that doesn't mean that they don't care.
Some days, I come hope utterly spent and exhausted, and there is something magical about looking up at the front window and seeing three little lions waiting for me. Somehow, hearing their little padding feet running to the front door to greet me makes up for whatever suckage the day brought.
And I know that this isn't my normal fare on this blog - I just wanted to cast this out there into the void. Thanks, Void. Thanks for listening.
Love & Tuna!
Sympathy Hacking...
TMI WARNING - Just be aware that there may be some over-sharing in this post.
A couple of years ago, I had this lingering cold that left me hacking up phlegm for weeks. So anyway, there I was, hacking phlegm into the sink for what felt like the thousandth time that day. And as I'm gagging and spitting, Luna comes up and hocks a hairball right onto my feet. Thanks, moron.
I'm sure some cat expert somewhere will tell me that this was a great show of camaraderie. Look, Mommy! I can hack up nasty junk, too!
Not cute. Mommy was not amused.
Love & Tuna!
A couple of years ago, I had this lingering cold that left me hacking up phlegm for weeks. So anyway, there I was, hacking phlegm into the sink for what felt like the thousandth time that day. And as I'm gagging and spitting, Luna comes up and hocks a hairball right onto my feet. Thanks, moron.
I'm sure some cat expert somewhere will tell me that this was a great show of camaraderie. Look, Mommy! I can hack up nasty junk, too!
Not cute. Mommy was not amused.
Love & Tuna!
March 03, 2014
My Bathroom Buddy
Ever since he was a kitten, Kyo has been my bathroom buddy...whether I wanted one or not. It's like he has a mystical sense of when I'm heading for the bathroom, and he will dart into the bathroom with me. And no matter how many times I open the door and try to shoo him out, he simply will not leave until I have completed my bathroom business, washed my hands, and open the door to leave.
Now, this is all well and good...sometimes.
There was one morning that I sat upon the porcelain throne, bleary eyed and half asleep (I am most decidedly not a morning person), and little Kyo put his front paws up on my knee, and waited for me to pet him. Mind you, this is a common enough occurrence, and had it not been early morning, I would have petted him and all would have been right in his little world. But I was tired. And grouchy. VERY grouchy. So I ignored him. And being that he is the Alpha and used to getting his way, he decided that he would hoist himself up onto my lap. By sinking his claws into my exposed thigh flesh. And pulling. Hard.
Little Jerk. Somehow I still love him...
The other memorable instance of Kyo the Bathroom Kitty that I can remember offhand happened late one night last year. I had been feeling under the weather all day, and at about midnight I felt the overwhelming urge to vomit. (TMI, I know. Bear with me.) So I run to the bathroom, and I really attempt to slam the door behind me, because, ya know, this is sort of the time for privacy. But, alas, Kyo was built for speed. And since I was sort of working with a time limit here, I just gave up on the privacy issue, and proceeded to throw up into the toilet. And the whole time, poor little Kyo was crawling up the back of my t-shirt, trying to nuzzle my face.
Not sure if this is cute or not...
Love & Tuna!
Now, this is all well and good...sometimes.
There was one morning that I sat upon the porcelain throne, bleary eyed and half asleep (I am most decidedly not a morning person), and little Kyo put his front paws up on my knee, and waited for me to pet him. Mind you, this is a common enough occurrence, and had it not been early morning, I would have petted him and all would have been right in his little world. But I was tired. And grouchy. VERY grouchy. So I ignored him. And being that he is the Alpha and used to getting his way, he decided that he would hoist himself up onto my lap. By sinking his claws into my exposed thigh flesh. And pulling. Hard.
Little Jerk. Somehow I still love him...
The other memorable instance of Kyo the Bathroom Kitty that I can remember offhand happened late one night last year. I had been feeling under the weather all day, and at about midnight I felt the overwhelming urge to vomit. (TMI, I know. Bear with me.) So I run to the bathroom, and I really attempt to slam the door behind me, because, ya know, this is sort of the time for privacy. But, alas, Kyo was built for speed. And since I was sort of working with a time limit here, I just gave up on the privacy issue, and proceeded to throw up into the toilet. And the whole time, poor little Kyo was crawling up the back of my t-shirt, trying to nuzzle my face.
Not sure if this is cute or not...
Love & Tuna!
March 02, 2014
Bedwetting
This lovely little incident happened back when Luna was my only kitty. One night, I decided that she was just too cute to leave outside the bedroom. (The bedroom was, and still is, a no kitty zone.) I thought that perhaps I had been too hasty in declaring that no kitty could ever share my bed, so I allowed Luna in for the night. I left the bedroom door open, so that she could come and go, and have access to the litter box whenever she pleased.
At first, it was peachy. Little Luna curled up by my feet and fell asleep. Shortly afterward, I fell asleep as well.
Flash forward to 4am. I wake up, in a lovely 4am grog, and Luna is standing on top of me. As I come to, I realize that my bed is wet. And smells of pee. And it sure as heck isn't mine. That cat. With the door wide open, and all the access in the world to her litter box, she elects to pee directly on top of me.
It's as if she was saying "I hereby claim Giant Hairless Cat Mountain for my kingdom, and to make this momentous occasion, I will urinate allllllllllll over it."
Although, since we are talking about fluff-for-brains Luna, the more likely scenario is that she was saying *insert elevator music* "Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeee. I peed."
Not one cat has EVER slept in my bed since that night. Though they may claw the outside of the bedroom door and sing the song of their people well into the wee small hours of the morning, they will never be welcome in my bed.
Love & Tuna!
At first, it was peachy. Little Luna curled up by my feet and fell asleep. Shortly afterward, I fell asleep as well.
Flash forward to 4am. I wake up, in a lovely 4am grog, and Luna is standing on top of me. As I come to, I realize that my bed is wet. And smells of pee. And it sure as heck isn't mine. That cat. With the door wide open, and all the access in the world to her litter box, she elects to pee directly on top of me.
It's as if she was saying "I hereby claim Giant Hairless Cat Mountain for my kingdom, and to make this momentous occasion, I will urinate allllllllllll over it."
Although, since we are talking about fluff-for-brains Luna, the more likely scenario is that she was saying *insert elevator music* "Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeee. I peed."
Not one cat has EVER slept in my bed since that night. Though they may claw the outside of the bedroom door and sing the song of their people well into the wee small hours of the morning, they will never be welcome in my bed.
Love & Tuna!
March 01, 2014
The Battle of the Trash Can
So, being a reasonably tidy human being, I believe that trash belongs in the trash can. At least until I can bestir my lazy butt to take it out to the big garbage cans on the porch.
My cats disagree. They believe that "trash" is really various foodstuffs and playthings, which should be distributed even throughout the house.
This, of course, leads directly to the title of this post...because it is a battle to keep the trash in the can.
I started out with your basic rectangular kitchen trash can. With no lid. Which honestly was a forlorn hope. I pretty much had to take out the trash every time I put something attractive to cats in it. Items attractive to my cats include:
Love & Tuna!
My cats disagree. They believe that "trash" is really various foodstuffs and playthings, which should be distributed even throughout the house.
This, of course, leads directly to the title of this post...because it is a battle to keep the trash in the can.
I started out with your basic rectangular kitchen trash can. With no lid. Which honestly was a forlorn hope. I pretty much had to take out the trash every time I put something attractive to cats in it. Items attractive to my cats include:
- Empty plastic grocery bags
- Those creepy styrofoam trays that ground meat comes on
- Anything that previously contained chicken
- Or fish
- Empty bags of cat treats
- Anything that crinkles
Eventually, I wised up. I bought a trash can with a lid that snaps shut. Clearly, I've won this war, right? Wrong. Last week, I saw Kyo standing on top of the trash can, doing this funny little dance. It was mega cute, so I ran to get my phone to take a video of it...and by the time I got back, he had gotten the trash can lid to pop open. And I really did think that it was a coincidence, until I saw him doing the exact same dance ten minutes later. (Still didn't get it on video!)
QED...Kyo is an evil genius. And possibly related to Fred Astaire.
Love & Tuna!
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