Cat Behavior 101

I once read an article to this effect, and I will attempt to funny it up a bit, and summarize it.

99% of all behavior can be explained by the following statement:

Cats believe that all other living organisms are cats. 

Following this line of logic, my cats (and yours, too!) think that you are a giant hairless cat. Let us explore this further with the following examples:

Action: Cat licks hand of human companion.

Human Thinks: "Awwwwwwww. So cute! This cat has shown a definite affection for me."

Cat Thinks: "Giant hairless cat...I have never seen you lick yourself...therefore you must not know how to keep yourself clean. Let me do it for you, because we can't have you stinking up the place."


Action: Cat brings "gift" (dead squirrel, bird, rabbit, mouse, etc.) to human companion.

Human Thinks: "Mega gross, murderous kitty."

Cat Thinks: "Giant hairless cat...you seem to be a terrible hunter. I generally tolerate your presence, and I don't want you dead...yet. Therefore, I have provided you with food. You may worship at my feet.


Action: Cat rubs up against the ankles of human companion, or human companion's guests.

Human Thinks: "Awwwwwwww. So cute! This cat has shown a definite affection for me." (Please note the theme here.)

Cat Thinks: "If you are going to be part of this pack, giant hairless cat, you must smell like me and only me. I shall mark you as my propurrrrty." (See what I did there. You wanted funny, and this is the best you're going to get.)


Leave your own thoughts on this phenomenon in the comments below!

Love & Tuna!